I used to struggle to accept the unsettled part of my personality. It felt right, but really wrong at the same time. - not that many people around me move through jobs and houses on a yearly basis like I do so it made me feel that I was chaotic and this needed to heal. After a decade of on-and-off therapy in an attempt to become more “stable”, I’ve not only accepted I’m open to lots of experiences, I’ve come to celebrate it. To help celebrate it, here’s a rundown of what I felt I’ve learned from every job I’ve had
JEWELLERY MAKING AND BABYSITTING
When I was just old enough to work (three months before 15), I was given a chance to work at a family friend’s jewellery making store. I love creating and jumped at this. My job included teaching children’s classes making sun catchers, making Swarovski glasses chains for older ladies, and counting thousands upon thousands of beads at stocktake time. The takeaway from this job was pretty obvious - as well as my first learning experience in a work environment, I learned that I have a knack and love for creating jewellery. I have dabbled in this skill on and off my whole adult life, and can’t wait to incorporate it into my brand more.
As well as working retail in the store, I sometimes babysat the 4 children of the manager. I honestly don’t know what to say about the roles of this job because it was just so easy for me. The thing I learned is that one of my greatest inherent talents in this life is educating and emotionally nurturing young children. There’s no doubt this, alongside helping raise my little sister, are the reasons I found my career in childcare so technically easy.
CAFE
At 16 I worked at a cafe one or two days a week. Short but sweet story - all I learned at this job was that I hate making coffees but I love a turkey, brie, alfalfa sprout and cranberry toastie.
RSL CLUB
In hindsight, working as a waitress as the local golf club taught me that I do not enjoy working for men. I didn’t understand why I felt he dominated the space so much and seemed to lack any awareness or remorse for his interactions. It’s not something I’ve felt from every male boss. . . just most.
RIB HOUSE
Don’t even get me started on working at Lone Star. The worst part wasn’t the cowboy hat, the greasy food or the birthday song - it was the fact that I regularly served people I knew and/or grew up with that threw me off. Much to the dismay of my boss, I learned at this job that I don’t need to do what my boss says at all, I just need to look like I am. Except for the times that they push the boundaries way too far, then quiet quit. I remember once I was leaning one arm against the front desk because I’d been standing there for an hour. A waitress walked up and said sorry but the boss said you’re not allowed to lean or support, you need to stand straight. I looked past her to him and made eye contact, then he walked into his office and never brought it up again. It’s really all been downhill for my employers since then.
NANNYING
After almost a decade of babysitting, there’s one thing I’m certain of - I’m terrified of YouTube and how much content is on there.
CHILDCARE
I spent 5 years in university studying to be a primary school teacher. In the end I gravitated towards childcare because of my passion for attachment theory and its pedagogical application. I only spent two years in the industry, but they were two beautiful years. To cover everything I learned from these jobs would require a whole other post of its own. I learned so much about how I relate to the world, and about how we all as people process and grow from our experiences. Did you know everything a child experiences in the first 18 months become implicit memory that shapes their sense of self? Did you know children under 1 can’t have honey because it’s an antibiotic? Did you know too much or not enough shame causes narcissism? By seeing and learning how children grow from their real life experiences, I unpacked every crevice of my childhood trauma myself. I began to open up to affection which I had always hated, and I started trying new foods to encourage the children to. Every day that I observed little ones interact with their world and their confidence grow, my esteem in the process of life grew stronger. This is not an area of my life I’ve abandoned, because I know it’s one I’ll never stop gaining growth and love from.
MODELLING
I actively avoided paid modelling gigs or any discussion about it for so long. I began modelling for the owner of Chin Chen St, a vintage store in Awabakal. She always encouraged me to pursue my dreams in the fashion industry and to value my style and designs. This was one of the major things I learned from modelling.
Once I got to Naarm I started modelling in a bit more of a professional context. I did collabs with uni students, modelling for small and large brands, and collabs wth friends' designs. I was really hesitant at first, thinking I'd come across as conceited for wanting to model, but over time I realised one of my best skills in a work environment is my ability to take direction when needed. In other workplaces I more take a leadership role, but by being open to going with the flow - and even sometimes being physical manipulated - I learn more about how to get the best shots and how to best show off an idea or product. This has helped tremendously in my own business, as now I've done a handful of shoots that have all incorporated that which I've learned.
RETAIL
As well as designing, I do regular retail shifts in a vintage store for my social and physical wellbeing. I don’t exactly love working on a schedule when my self employment allows me more freedom, but apart from that I have no gripe. After years of lockdown and working alone this job taught me the importance of leaving your comfort zone and making sure you’re not isolating yourself because it’s easy. I could spend all day every day alone if I was allowed. But by not being allowed to, I’ve regained a lost trust in my fellow peers that lockdown took from me. By being around so many different types of people in fleeting situations, I began to see that not only do my interactions not affect my life that much, but it rekindled the idea that. . . I’m. . . likeable?
DESIGNING
This job has a new challenge, lesson but overall privilege every day. I have never once had to set alarms or force myself to work. It’s something I genuinely enjoy doing. Which helped me realise what I would consider one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my life - not only do I deserve to have a happy life, but my purpose in the world may be to follow and feel joy. I’ve been to a psychic just once, and she told me my mission here is to feel joy - to which I told her I was too busy to do (lol). When I started working for myself as a designer was when I started to feel this as a possibility in my life. The more ideas I follow and express, the more I have. Frankly, I’m worried I won’t do everything I want to do before my career is over!
When it comes to learning lessons from being a designer, though, there honestly isn’t even one main lessons I could touch on. The joy of this job is that I can be as selfish as I want - every piece, shoot and collection is intricately linked to some emotional or social journey I’ve been exploring. Or maybe it’s a part of me I already love and accept, but just feel like expressing that season. This brand began as a way for me to express my sensuality and gender without engaging directly with my relationships, and has evolved to help me heal my relationship with my gender, heritage and so much more.
After over a decade of chaos, courage and compassion, I’m so grateful to be finally adjusting my personality to the world and seeing all the successes that come with it.