You'd think that someone who gets bed ridden, suicidal and nauseous from PMS would have a gentle love for those weeks of the month. In fact, it's more than likely PMDD (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoria Disorder), categorised by sever depression, sensitivity to rejection, hypersomnia or insomnia, and many more, and mostly undiagnosed. But through the upheaval on my life that extreme pre-menstrual symptoms cause me, I've learned to understand and appreciate the cycles of my body.
I have a similar story to many people who menstruate: I went on the pill as a teenager, stayed on it for six years, and my body took a few years to "level out" as best as it's going to for now. Now, what I thought were symptoms of my body adjusting to naturally regulating its hormones, I've realised are my monthly battle for the forseeable future. For several years - and still at least once every cycle now - I have an almost complete breakdown about how unfair it is that I can't hold a job or or be consistently active due to my symptoms. The tolls this takes on my finances and mental health is pretty indescribable. But the worst is the intense emotional responses to anything (and I mean ANYTHING) that strikes an emotional cord. But two years ago I read a fact that completely changed my perspective on my emotions during this time.
Did you know that during PMS/luteal phase, the left and right hemispheres (as well as other parts) of the brain are better connected? That means your logic and emotions are working hand-in-hand to help you see, and subsequently solve, any problems in your life right now. Those things you dismiss throughout the month but overwhelm you right before menses might just be real. This is also really helpful in my brand as it helps me to work through ideas internally before I have the energy to put them into action. This forced patience can help me come up with my best ideas possible.
Also helpful in helping me form these ideas is the involuntary rest. PMS fatigue is just as bad as any other type of fatigue, except you can't really do too much to negate it happening. No matter how much sleep, how well I eat or how little weed I smoke, there's no overcoming the overwhelming tiredness that occurs in the two days before my period. You may see this as a burden, but all I think is "I feel so bad for men. How do they know when to rest?" It's just psychological fact that too much action and stress leads to burnout which leads to nervous breakdowns, and those can seriously disrupt our lives. I truly believe that women are the fortunate sex because we exist on a cycle that gives us natural rest periods and natural action periods. In the long run, the late mornings in bed and nights in on the couch are probably saving us a lot of time and money on therapy later.
The last of my favourite parts of PMS is the opportunity to reconnect to my body. My physical PMS symptoms are nothing to be envious of - back pain, muscle fatigue, cramps, tender breasts, weight gain that can cause discomfort, intense bloating and digestive issues. When I'm stressed out it's even worse, leading to flu-like symptoms and even mild hair loss. But the more I talk to others about the way I communicate back and forth with my body, the more I realise this is a honed skill I'm lucky to have as most people don't to this extent. I don't bother checking my periods trackers or basal body temperature to see when I'm ovulating of have PMS. I just know. Unexplained anxiety and increased sweating for two days? PMS must be starting. Extreme appetite, larger breasts and insomnia? Period is about to start. More discharge, energy and smaller appetite? Ovulation is happening, no doubt. As much as I still consider most of these "negative" symptoms, I'm coming to value my relationship with my body and acknowledging that even the "bad" moments have contributed.
I haven't heard of many other femmes and women enjoying the cycle that is there period, but maybe it's just a taboo we're yet to talk about in the general populace. What about you? Do you like riding the waves of your hormonal changes?